Last Friday I spent
my first night ever away from Paula. Yes, just one more way in which I'm damaging
her for life. But it was so much fun!
I went to the Illinois
Hands and Voices 2nd Annual Mom's
Night Inn at the Oak Brook Mariott, about 45 minutes drive from my house. I
spent all Friday diligently wearing Paula out, which is to say I took her over to
my friend Jacqueline's house where we made cupcakes, cooked, ate, played with the
baby, and she roughhoused with the boys until mid-afternoon. I put
Paula to bed at six, then threw my overnight bag in the car and drove to Oak Brook.
When I got there
I saw one mom I knew from the Parent-Infant Institute at ISD
last summer, so I sat next to her in the big circle of chairs set up in one of the
hotel's banquet rooms. I had been a little nervous about Meeting New People, so
I was glad to see a friend. Not that I dislike MNP, I just get a little bit nervous
when I know I'm going to be somewhere where I don't know anyone. Anyway, once I
saw Karen, I didn't worry.
As an aside, I think
someone should do some research into a possible link between being named Karen,
Debbie or Mary and giving birth to a deaf or hard of hearing child. There were quite
a few women with those names at this event and I couldn't help but wonder ...
Well, the event opened
with a nice presentation about guilt, grieving and emotional health. It doesn't
sound that fun, but it was good to hear other moms talk about the things they feel
guilty about and how they give themselves permission to let that go after a while.
Best of all, while the subject matter was appropriate it didn't take so long that
we missed out on the main attractions: chair massages, manicures, delectable food
and excellent company.
I did meet a lot
of new people, some whom I already knew from the H&V email list. I kept asking
them where they were from and not knowing where that was; one mom teased me that
I need to become a bus driver so I can learn my way around. I suspect my learning
curve would monkeywrench some commuter's livelihoods. I got to sign with grown-up
people, which I enjoyed, and my nails are still a rosy shade of pink. It adds a
touch of elegance in the morning as I ask Paula if she's all done pooping.
The whole thing was
a lot of fun. Karen (my friend from the summer institute) and my roommate Alese
and I stayed up talking till midnight. We ate chocolate late at night and right
after breakfast. We chatted and joked and just had fun. I slept all night in a comfy
bed all by myself; I woke up too early but didn't have to get up until I was ready;
I took a shower without anyone pounding on the door and shouting, "MOMMY!"
All that was missing was a pillow fight, but there's always next year. I drove home
feeling rejuvenated.
When I walked through
my back door around noon, Paula was in Joel's arms, crying because she missed me.
But I felt proud of how the two of them had made it through the previous night and
that morning. Joel said Paula woke up once during the night and was crying for me.
He said he put his mouth right next to her ear and said in a deep, loud voice, "Paula
you can cuddle up and sleep with Daddy or stay here and cry by yourself."*
Well, she cuddled right up, rubbed his beard with her hand and went to sleep. Atta
girl.
The whole experience
really filled up my tanks. I took Paula to the park Saturday afternoon, and yesterday
she and I did some cooking together while Joel was at an audition. I had energy
to play with her, instead of trying to get her occupied so I could go do something
else. It felt great.
I have to say Paula
just seems brighter every day. After meeting those other moms and hearing about
how great their kids are doing I'm feeling pretty optimistic.
* Mom:
I know that what Joel said sounded harsh, but he wasn't threatening her. He was
giving Paula a chance to be her own agent and choose between two very different
options. He was also letting her know that wrestling with a crying child was not
on his to-do list for the next two hours. Win-win.
Posted at:Sun, Dec 03 2006 09:02:20 PM
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